“It is one thing to recognize and acknowledge the presence of our darker emotions, it is quite another thing to let them take up permanent residence.”-
Blog #11
So, My dark side says to my light side, “Hey gorgeous, wanna make out”? And, before my light side knew what hit her, she was embracing my dark side, which led to kissing, which led to… well, you know. Now she has little dark sides all over the place, and is barefoot and in the kitchen most of the time.
Suffice it to say, she is not very happy. She does like being in her bare feet, however, but the kitchen… well, not so much. In fact, she is unhappy to the point of extreme frustration and anger (which just so happen to be the names of her oldest two little dark sides).
She has decided, though she believes she is probably addicted to my dark side, and that it won’t be easy efforting to not give in to that exceedingly slimy trickster, that she needs to start resisting those dark fiery passions and re-assert herself.
Why, she remembers how she used to bring happiness, and love and laughter and light to me and how brilliant she was able to shine through me. And, she also recalls that her light was so bright, those around me were able to see it and bask in it. She was very attractive… back in the day.
Now she feels ugly and alone and she has all these little dark sides constantly making her pitch a fit and get all red-faced and mean. She has let her light become very dim.
How did it get to this she wonders. She does recall offering my dark side a cup of tea. The dark side can be so alluring, so mysterious, so… dark. The thought of it made her shiver. She remembers the cup turned into a pot and then she got all mixed up, didn’t think she had a choice. Who was she to rebuff my dark side. So much power and excitement and energy. It had literally dug a deep groove into her, and she had actually forgotten how to be… light.
She had decided that the next time my dark side came home, she would be loving, and even an embrace would not be out of line, but clearly a pot of tea was out of order. She had been practicing choosing to be her truest, deepest, purest Self of Light, and it showed. Her brilliance was beyond the beyond.
She actually did not see my dark side for quite some time, but one day while she wasn’t paying attention, my dark side tried to come home again. Since she had been practicing being her true Self, she was ready.
She shown so brilliantly as she said “hello” that my dark side not only left immediately, but she also sent for her
things. She was afraid of my light side.
On occasion she does try to come back. My light side is so gracious. She always invites her in for just a single cup of tea, but my dark side cannot remain dark in the brilliance of my light side and, so, she always declines.
Dark side, light side, truest self, the Shadow. This has been one of the most fear producing and misunderstood elements of the human psyche.
Here is “another” perspective.
The “Dark” is the perspective of memories, beliefs and thought patterns most of us consider bad or negative. The problem with that logic is that it implies that we are at times less than or even someone not worthy or needing to be ashamed of our thoughts.
The strongest argument I can give is to remind you that shadows only appear when light is being cast on something.
If you want to eliminate the shadows in your psyche and life, look at the things,(those memories, beliefs and thought patterns) that are blocking the light.
To bring those things fully into the light of reality allows them to be seen for what they are. To transcend the fears that keep us immobile and integrate those things with love and acceptance will give a new sense of freedom, no longer bound to the kitchen and repeating the same experiences.
This is true power of existence, to be In the Now, accepting yourself, your whole self. Not trying to ignore or push away a part of self.
This is also balance at its best
We are human, perceived mistakes will be made, but hey, that’s what life is about. I say perceived, because usually I have found what I thought was a mistake was a valuable lesson that led to growth, and that’s never bad.
Well said my ‘inviter inner’ of all things. For you, the whole pot of tea is offered… not just a cup.
I have found the Dark to be a place within where I find healing and transformation, as well as what I need to change, just as night is for resting and rejuvenating our selves. There is a natural duality on this Earth, day to night, winter to summer and on and on. These are natural processes all serving a purpose and fitting into the natural order of things.
It seems to me that the dark side might have something to offer, something healing and transformative and life-affirming. This has been my experience and it’s why I have, and continue to work hard to embrace my own dark side. She provides strength and wisdom in my darkest times. She reminds me of my beauty even in the face of my own ugliness. She provides for my soul’s healing when my conscious self can no longer deal with that which is driving me into the darkness.
All that is dark is not bad.
Growth is uncomfortable and usually takes place in the dark and I am stronger for it. From the ruins of disaster, what was hidden, in the dark, is now revealed. It’s perspective and what we choose to do within the dark times that shapes us and deepens us the most.
The light is easy in that it makes others happy to be near us. The dark is challenging and difficult and we are trained not to be these things.
Was it Khalil Gibran who said something about not truly knowing the heights joy until we have experienced our deepest grief?
I have found my deepest strength in the darkest of times and I can truly say the dark has blessed me, for it has made me the unique and original woman of power that I am today and for that I am truly grateful.
May you find your light in the dark you seem to be seeking.
You have a thorough understanding of Samkya philosophy (one of the philosophical systems of India and the one Raja Yoga espouses). Without the dark there is no light. The Absolute without the phenomenal wouldn’t recognize itself.
Playing with the darkness and the light, seems unavoidable if one is to evolve to higher states of consciousness.
We can choose to embrace all that this world of name and form have to offer. We can also choose to bid a thankful and appreciative “toodles”, to our seeds of anger, frustration, fear and despair. We can choose to water, instead, that place in us that recognizes no duality. We can see the weeds, pull them, eat them, use them for compost or whatever, but we definitely pull them up by the roots so that they can grow no more. And, when new ones take there place, we pull those too lest our garden become overrun and cluttered thus choking our beautiful flowers and tomatoes and such.
Who knows, maybe a cup of tea offered in a spirit of equanimity can render the dark side obsolete. On the other hand, me-thinks it will continue to haunt, though it’s power over one who is centered in the light is truly impaired. And, for me, that is just the way I like it.
We make choices freely. Some cause pain and suffering, others deny it. I choose to offer the tea willingly, happily… even lovingly. But, who am I to argue with the darkness as it withers and retreats when it comes face to face with a light that is so bright, so constant that even the lion will contentedly lay down beside the lamb.
We can rather embrace our light side. This is what can give strength and alleviate suffering. Of course, we would not know that without our dear twin the dark side, but at some point one part of the duality becomes stronger. It is the law of nature. Nothing is static or remains equal in the world of form. Shall I joyfully embrace anger, resentment and the lot so that it might become the stronger? Shall I practice stroking my anger so that it knows it is welcome and keeps showing up?
No. I shall choose to do my learning, my consciousness raising, my specific divine and creative play by shining the light of mindfulness on those poor darker shadows be they male or female, gods or goddesses.
I have had an abundance of the dark. I have shared many stories and we had been friends for a very long time, and honestly it wrought no real growth or good… only an excuse and a habitual, almost addictive acceptance (at least, for me, for I can speak for no-one else).
I have had my affair with anger and the likes, and I am no longer attracted to these mysterious, tall, dark, smooth talkers.
No, I have grown too much to flirt with that again.
I choose one cup of tea and that my dearest, is enough.
Darkness occurs only where there are objects.
Amen to that Brian, er… I mean Ryan. Tell me, how do I get rid of these objects? I don’t have to sit for 2 hours do I?
darkness sucks but as david said there is a lot to be learned from it and it sounds like you are already doing that. sometimes we must pull ourselves up from that damn dark place and tell it to “go to hell”.
you are wonderful and i want you to drink from the pot that contains the very best tea, you deserve it.
And, I thought you drank martini’s…
How often do you write your blogs? I enjoy them a lot 8 6 4
Do you plan to keep this site updated? I sure hope so… its great!
Yes Ashley. I try to post every month. i am a little behind, but I will post in the next week or so. Glad you enjoy the site. Peace, Jeri